Meaning of Magic
by halting-death
Summary: Altered year 7, starts out H/G and Hr/R will change, to what I don't know, first story so any insight is helpful, I doubt I'll update very often. Some language, angst at the beginning, but will lighten up
1. Dealing with Demons

AN: I don't own anything nor am I making money off of it.

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"Good evening Minister, and how might you find yourself tonight" Harry asked tiredly.

"Rather well, though it seems the people are worried" Scrimgeour replied tightly.

The two were standing outside Harry's home at #4 private drive, under a few concealment and privacy charms, engaging in what had become very familiar banter.

"No new arrests today?" He asked with an innocent smile.

"No, none, we haven't arrested anyone, not without conclusive evidence," a small spasm ran across his face "will you please help us now, the death eater have been running rampant, we're out of options, I've almost been forced out of office, FOR GODS SAKE MAN, WE'RE AT WAR!"

Every night for the past two weeks, Harry had been visited by the Minister for magic with pleas for assistance in the fight against Voldemort. At first Harry had just ignored the man, after all, he had been arresting people on hearsay, though after a few days, Harry realized the lengths to which Scrimgeour would go to get help from "the Chosen One" and had begun to subtly suggest small things that could be done in return for little things, like small quotes in the Prophet. It never quite seemed to be enough for the Minister though, so night after night, the two would have conversations that inevitably ended with one barely suppressing their rage. It seemed to be Scrimgeour's turn this night.

"Yes, we are. It always feels so _rewarding_ to have the ministry admit that."

"Yes, yes, we were wrong, you were right, _oh Chosen One_. Now, will you please help us lesser beings?" The Minister seemed incapable of relaxing tonight.

"Is something wrong Minister? You seem tense"

Harry knew he shouldn't be enjoying this, after all, the Minister was right, everything was going wrong in the war. Once Dumbledore had been killed, all restraint Voldemort once had towards attacking had been lost. There were deaths almost every night, and nothing seemed to be capable of preventing the attacks.

"You mean other than the fact that almost everyone that I trusted around me in the office has been killed and replaced with men that I'm almost positive are death eaters? Or the fact that within the next few weeks I'll likely either be dead or completely under their control? Why would I be fine under these circumstances?"

"And why is it that you think I can help your situation in office? I mean, I have no control over the politicians."

"We've been over this, you'd give me the credibility I needed to make harsh changes."

"You're right, we have talked about it, and I still can't allow you to have a carte blanche within the ministry, you wouldn't be able to help but abuse that power. There is one thing that might persuade me though."

Scrimgeour turned away in frustration, "You know I can't just do that, the public would eat me alive, there's no sort of precedence for this type of thing, no one there would feel protected."

For the past few days, Harry's goal had been to get the Ministry to remove all of its legal power from Hogwarts.

"You're right, it's much better knowing that you can legally have someone torture the student body day in and day out, and avoid any sort of repercussion. I'm sorry Minister, but I must not tell lies." Harry's hands started to shake as he spat at the grass.

A small look a shame crossed his face "Listen, Umbridge is gone, removed from all power, there's nothing more I can do without getting your support first. I'm not Fudge damn it"

"No, you're smarter, but just as willing to do what makes you look best instead of what's right. I refuse to settle for anything less if we're to work together. You have political power and I, as you so eloquently put, have moral authority. You could do anything you wanted and the public would back you on it. The only reason you haven't agreed to it yet is because you don't want to relinquish your power over the school."

Scrimgeour sighed, "We've been arguing this point for the last four days, you're not going to budge, are you?"

"No Minister"

"Fine, there's a press conference tomorrow, 2:00 at the Ministry, be there and we'll announce the end of the Ministry's involvement at Hogwarts, claiming that their independence is a needed action in the war effort, as well as your decision to work with me."

"As long as we're clear Minister, I work with you, not for you, any big decisions you make, you run by me first."

"Agreed, and you agree to a few, harsh changes to the Ministry, even without evidence"

"Agreed"

"Well then Mr. Potter, I'll see you tomorrow for the press conference."

"Goodnight Minister"

Scrimgeour walked out to the end of the lot, and disapparated to the Ministry.

Harry walked back into the house, "Well he agreed to leave Hogwarts alone"

Professor McGonagall greeted him, "Yes, but I still don't like this, you'll be very vulnerable there. Especially if you're going to be spending so much time at the ministry."

"I have to do something. After all, you're not letting me out of your sight."

Ever since Hogwarts ended and Professor McGonagall discovered his plans to leave Hogwarts and go hunting for the Horcruxes, she taken it upon herself to try and convince him to go back.

"Mr. Potter, I was given a few requests from Professor Dumbledore and I will see them through, including your return to Hogwarts"

This had been another argument that was paid attention to daily. Harry couldn't help but wonder why it was that he was the chosen to never possess freedom. Even when attempting to do that which he knew he had to, everyone is still trying to tell him what to do, trying to force him into their molds.

"Did he specifically tell you that I have to go back to Hogwarts?"

"Well…no, he told me to do all that I could to keep the school open and running."

"And you don't need me for that." Harry was getting tired, tired of Scrimgeour , tired of responsibilities, tired of the nightmares, just tired.

"No, but I have found something for you, a letter from Professor Dumbledore"

"Then let me see it"

"If you agree to return, Mr. Potter, than I will give you the letter."

"Why are you so desperate to make me come back" Even to himself, Harry sounded defeated.

"Do you know why it is that Hogwarts is seen as one of the safest places in the country, Mr. Potter?"

"Easy, Professor Dumbledore, Voldemort was scared and so he kept away."

"Not quite, as you have never taken Ancient Runes, you wouldn't know anything about the wards surrounding Hogwarts. V-Voldemort isn't the first Dark Lord to try and take over the country, and I doubt he'll be the last, however, none of them have ever managed to take over Hogwarts despite all of their attempts because there's far more than teachers protecting the students."

Harry still couldn't see what this had to do with him, "Alright, so it's a safe place to be, but I'm not looking to be safe, there's something I have to go do, I have to-"

"Yes your infamous mission that you refuse to tell me about. However, I'm not trying to prevent you from going on your mission, as much as I would like to keep everyone safe, I cannot force them."

"And yet here you are trying to force me, trying to keep me 'safe' and stopping me from doing what I need to do."

"No, I'm trying to keep the country safe. Like you, most of the people believe that it was solely due to Professor Dumbledore that the school remained safe, despite the fact that this past year, he was almost never in school. With him gone, many of the students won't be returning, because they won't think it's safe. However, they also know that you have faced him on a number of occasions, with you being there, they'll be able to feel safe enough to go back. As you said, I'm trying to force you to go back, but I'm not trying to force you to be safe, I'm asking you to keep as many people as we can safe"

"So now you're appealing to my 'saving people' thing"

"No, I'm just keeping you informed, isn't that what you wanted?" There was a trace of a smile around her lips.

"Fine, you win, I'm coming back"

"Excellent Mr. Potter, I'll see you at the latest on the first. Good day to you"

"Professor McGonagall, my letter?"

"On the first Mr. Potter" The door closed behind her.

Harry cursed under his breath, "Yet another reason to make sure I return."

Even with this latest bit of he still felt as though there was nothing left for him at Hogwarts, just memories. Feeling drained, he crept up the stairs, went into his room, and lay down, and drifted into tortured sleep.

_He was walking through the graveyard, unknown bodies littering the ground, until he came upon the veil. Dark and flowing with a non-existent wind, the sense of foreboding it emanated was palpable, I shouldn't be here, he thought, I should run, I have to run. But despite his thoughts, he was drawn ever closer, a voice telling him to just go through it, to find peace, freedom. A second voice came to argue with it, saying he had to stay, he had to fight. Standing in front of it, he could neither leave, nor go forward, he felt trapped, looking into death but unable to move. The voices within his head grew louder, more insistent, they were both fighting for control, he couldn't hear his own thoughts, his own desires over the voices. Falling to his knees, he grasped his head in pain, the voices were overwhelming, he couldn't fight them, he felt like a string pulled taught. He saw Sirius come from a distance and walk through the veil, inviting him to join. He saw Ron standing at the gates, calling him back. Dumbledore followed Sirius in. Ginny called him back. Snape and Malfoy were at his side, pushing more and more people through the veil, tens, hundreds, thousands of people walked passed him, within an arms length, some crying, some fighting, some marching sullenly, all disappeared through the veil. He could've stopped them all, he could've held them back, he could've gone first and they'd all have stopped, they wouldn't have followed him, he caused too much pain. A familiar face walked out of the veil, dark, messy hair, glasses, except for the eyes, the brown eyes, it was akin to staring into a mirror. The eyes looked coldly down on, chastising him for his cowardice. A true Gryffindor would have stopped this, would have saved them. He had no right to act noble. Simple acts would have prevented much suffering, you knew that Voldemort was trying to get you and put you in the Tournament, why would he go through all that to try and kill you, it would be easier to do it with a simple curse, you should have been ready, should have attacked when you saw the figure coming towards you. He saw Cedric walking out of the veil, "my father, my mother, Cho, they all know that it was your fault, and what do you do as soon as I'm dead, you don't comfort them, you try to make a move with Cho, not respecting me in the slightest, you sick bastard." Cedric disappeared back through the veil. You never respected the man enough to listen to his crying girlfriend, you simply listened to your own desires. Selfish. Harry couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't feel, he only knew the man's voice in his head and the taste of death in his mouth. 'I couldn't do anything' he was sobbing now, his knees gave out, and he collapsed in the dust, feeling the ground move as more and more people walked through the veil, people he couldn't save. He caught the cloying scent vanilla, it disappeared, of ink, it disappeared, of flowers, it disappeared, all familiar scents, those of his family, his friends. He curled himself up, wishing to end, to no longer know what was happening. A light cinnamon disappeared, a heavy animalistic musk vanished, perfumes, colognes, until finally all was gone, he was alone except for the man with cold blue eyes staring down at him. He could feel his gaze more than see it, a scent of lemon drifting through the air. The eyes, they knew what he was supposed to do, he had a task but he failed. He failed. The words ran through his head, time and time again. The weight of the words, of his responsibilities, they were binding, he could barely move. He heard himself begging for death, for release from the torture that was his life. The man with cold eyes simply turned and disappeared through the veil, he and the veil vanished. Harry was truly alone. He couldn't hold it in, he screamed, praying for an end that he knew could no longer come._

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AN: A bit depressing and short, I'm mostly trying to set it up so that there are reasons that what happened in the last book doesn't start here, though there will other other changes like Horcrux locations. I don't know if the Hollows will exist or if Harry will be a Horcrux yet.


	2. Ante Up

AN: Are constant disclaimers even necessary? I mean, if it's on this site, chance are I'm not making money for what I'm writing. Either way I don't own anything but my mind.

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Harry's attempt at sleep was balanced evenly between restless nightmares and empty stares at the ceiling. Finally, his alarm went off signalling his last day of freedom. At the beginning of his vacation, the Dursley's left for a working vacation at a new drill factory in Spain, leaving the Harry alone and all of the valuables locked in a safety deposit box.

Most days, his schedule was simple, wake from his 'sleep', eat a meagre breakfast (freaks lived on a tight budget), do a small amount of housework, attempt to focus on what to do after leaving Privet Drive, a small lunch, study from his school books, meet with Professor McGonagall and listen to her worries, argue with the minister, eat dinner, and collapse until the next morning. His attempts at planning his next move failed miserably for two main reasons, one, he had no idea where the Horcruxes were, and two, the only way he could think to destroy one was to stab it with a basilisk fang. Now despite all of the practical uses of carrying around a giant serpent fang, Harry didn't have one in his possession, so McGonagall didn't have to argue much to get Harry's agreement. He was more hoping to get some form of concession of freedom at Hogwarts in return for Harry's re-admittance.

His lack of dinner from the previous day making itself painfully obvious, Harry quickly rose and readied himself. Between showers, light make up to hide his fatigue, and coffee he should be able to last another day.

It was 9:00, five hours before he needed to be at the Ministry, so in all likelihood, five hours until Voldemort attacks him. It's odd how all the little things around the house that used to be benign now set him on edge, shadows from clouds passing overhead, creaks from the floorboards, even the familiar order guard standing underneath the streetlight a house over. Did they know of the approaching press conference? Did they know who died last night? Did they know anything about whether that cloud means that rain is coming?

'Damn, focus! Press conference, Scrimgeour. Professor McGonagall was here last night, she knows about it, so they should as well. If so, then they'll be here by 1:00 to get ready to leave, otherwise the Knight bus should suffice.'

Harry went to the kitchen and prepared a small breakfast, though it seemed to take longer than it should have. Several times he found himself staring into space, only to catch himself as he was losing balance.

"I need . . . something, what is it? I needed to prepare, to study. Yesterday I was focusing on . . . fighting. Obviously, that's all I have to study here. It was transfiguration? Conjuring? Right, transfiguring or conjuring a shield!"

Happy to have remembered his current focus, he promptly sat down and began to eat a simple meal of porridge and toast, only to realize he had forgotten a spoon. Standing, he went to fetch it from the cupboard. He reached it and drew a blank, 'Damn it, not again, eating, I needed something to eat the porridge with, a fork!'

Collecting the fork he sat back down and ate his porridge with gusto, never questioning the logic behind his choice in cutlery. Finishing his meal, he rose abruptly, only to lose his vision for a moment, his balance disappearing, he quickly held on to the table until the spots from his eyes faded. Shaking his head, he retreated to his room and his book. Picking one up, he saw the incantation and wand movement, _Pallium_, and a simple sweep

'Alright, _Pallium, Pallium, Pallium_, I will remember it.'

He spent the morning practicing the movements and memorizing the words and timing with a green light, hoping that they'd become an automatic reaction, after all, even if a spell can get through a simple _protego_, a thick wall in between the two of us should be enough. Finally at 12:30, there was a knock on the door.

Cautiously moving towards it, he called out, "Who's there?"

"Remus Lupin, also known as Moony, I the one to hold you back after Sirius went through the veil at the Ministry"

"Professor" Harry quickly opened the door and embraced the man.

"Good to see you Harry, you look healthier than I expected. Not under any glamour charms are you?"

"No, of course not. Besides, with the press conference later today, I can't be under any enchantments."

He didn't enjoy deceiving Lupin, but he knew the Order had far more important things to worry about than his sleep schedule. Besides, as near as he could tell, he was acting no different than normal.

"Alright" Lupin stood back and examined him closely, though he seemed to pass the inspection.

"What are the plans for going? Are we just doing a side-along apparition?"

"No, we're going by portkey. The more unfamiliar material you add while apparating, the easier it is to leave something behind. Add that to the full moon from a couple nights ago and the risks outweigh the benefits. We'll be leaving in an hour."

"Good, feel free to make yourself at home, the Dursley's are gone until tomorrow."

Lupin still didn't seem to trust Harry's self-diagnosis, even going so far as to quietly attempt a _finite incantatem_ while he thought Harry's wasn't looking. However, the muggle products withstood his tests, and despite the strained look in his eyes, Harry didn't look pale, withdrawn, or had discolorations beneath his eyes. Satisfied that he fooled his old Professor, he sat down in a corner chair and closed his eyes, hoping for a bit of rest before they had to leave.

'Why does he not believe that I'm fine? Yes I'm a little tired, but I'm not showing any signs of exhaustion, my balance seems fine, I'm not shaking or being very forgetful.' Shaking his head, he rested it on his shoulder and quickly dosed off.

Far too quickly for Harry's tastes, the hour passed and they were in the Ministry atrium. Ahead were a number of Auror guards inspecting reporters before letting them into the conference hall. Through a back corridor, Lupin and Harry were inspected separately and placed into the same room as the Minister.

"Harry, glad you managed to show up."

"Minister, so what is it that you have planned?"

"Just a public release of a bill I've signed off. It allows for Ministry to question those in high positions about they're activities."

Harry narrowed his eyes, "And why would you need me to back it? It seems like the type of thing the public would eat up?"

An attendant walked in, "Sir, the conference should be starting now"

"Alright Hastings, we're coming."

Lupin grabbed Harry's arm, "Whatever he says," he hissed "make sure to stay calm, you do need to look like a united front."

Harry's vision darkened momentarily. Closing his eyes and shaking his head, he pulled himself together and followed the Minister out the door.

"Welcome. It's time to discuss the measures being taken to counter the Dark Lord's movements. Over the past year, it has been a constant point of discussion as to whether or not certain measures should be taken in order to be better capable of retaliating against the attacks and to become more proactive in fighting. And so we've decided to create a new law, the Dark War Measures Act. The primary purpose of this act is to insure the Ministry stays safe against all intrusions by those in service to the Dark Lord."

Harry still didn't understand why he was here, why Lupin warned him not to react. All he could see was the Ministry finally doing what it should be.

"The secondary purpose is to keep all citizens safe by increasing their general security."

'General security? How could they increase it beyond putting everyone in Hogwarts or giving people bodyguards? Why am I here?' Harry vision started to darken again.

"As a general security measure, we'll be enforcing a simple rule against glamour charms and polyjuice potion through a version of the Thieves Downfall."

'I can't sleep, I have to pay attention, I need to know why I'm supposed to get angry, why it's expected.' Harry rubbed his eyes

"To back this up, all employees of the Ministry must keep their left sleeve rolled up to show that they lack the Dark Mark."

'Everything he's saying is just obvious security measures, this can't be all the act is about.' Harry was trying to think of anything that might make him unhappy about the Ministry's actions, but was finding it difficult to concentrate with the occasional flashes from the photography.

"In addition, random inspections through the use of Veritaserum shall be used to insure that lack of unmarked servants."

'Why would he be telling the public this, wouldn't it be more effective if they didn't know it was coming?'

"To keep the general population more secure, a series of safe houses have been made which will have people living closer together, insuring that the Auror guards stationed 24 hours a day will be able to assist as soon as they're needed"

'He went by the Veritaserum quickly, why? It's almost like he wanted it to be an afterthought.'

"Occupation of these safe houses will not be enforced, though they are highly recommended. Due to the sprawling nature of our residences, the task of responding to attacks quickly and effectively is much easier in a location of our choosing."

'The way he said that, it's almost like saying "_sorry, you chose not to be protected by us_" does that mean he won't respond to attacks if they're not in safe houses? And what about muggles?'

"To protect the younger parts of the population, Hogwarts attendance shall now be mandatory for all underage students."

'Veritaserum and selective protection, what else are you trying to hide?'

"Added to this, the Ministry shall be instituting a conscript army to train and fight, all members of which shall of age-."

'There!'

"Quite right minister," Harry quickly jumped into the press release, "All citizens over age and who have completed their N.E.W.T studies.

Turning back to smile at the Minister he ignored his tightened face. "Just to add on to what was said earlier about Hogwarts, two Aurors will be stationed there working with Headmistress McGonogall. Alastor Moody and Nymphadora Tonks. The rest of the Ministry shall be entirely focused on the war effort leaving Hogwarts to the discretion of those two Aurors."

'Alright, I think that's all I can do for now, Lupin was right, if I'm going to work with him, I'll have to stay calm'

"Thank you Mr. Potter." He said, though it looked like it pained him to do so, "Yes we've discussed these matters and it was decided, against Mr. Potters desire to be a greater part of this war, that only those who've matured to a certain point should be used in the conscription. However, Mr. Potter has also agreed to assist in the training of those in school by teaching them to duel as well as joining the Auror corps once he graduates in order to assist the country at large in this war"

'So I have one year before he gets me under his thumb, that was what he wanted with the conscripts, he wanted me to be forced to join up. That's what he wanted me to be backing.'

"In order to make sure that he'll be capable in assisting the school, he will be going through some Auror training this summer."

Harry looked back at Lupin who was grimacing, it looked like it was getting harder for him to stay silent throughout the release, though Harry wasn't sure whether he was upset at Scrimgeour or him.

"I'm afraid that's all we time for at the moment, if you have specific questions about the Dark War Measures Act and all that it contains, speak with our representative. The official wizengamot voting will be taking place in one week."

Scrimgeour put his hand on Harry's shoulder, smiled, and ushered him back into the adjoining room, ignoring the questions at their back.

"What the hell were you doing up there!" he hissed

"Is something wrong Minister? Did you by chance forget to mention that you were trying to get me into your private army?"

"We agreed that certain measures had to be taken!"

"Yes, and I agree that something has to be done about the war, we have been losing yes, but you can't force people into doing whatever it is you want."

"IT'S YOUR GOD DAMN DUTY TO YOUR COUNTRY!"

"It's my duty to fight, not to be a puppet. You agreed that we should work together. Good Day Minister."

With that, Harry strode out the door, quickly followed by Lupin.

"Are you alright Harry?" He asked once they were in an empty corridor.

Harry stopped walking, leaned his back against the wall and closed his eyes. "No, no I'm not alright. Dumbledore is gone, Voldemort has far too large of a support base, and the Minister is trying to control my life. I have one year to try and do what Dumbledore needed me to before I'm stuck."

"You don't have to obey what he said, it is your life." He said without much hope in his voice.

"That's just it, I can't. The only reason the country still feels we can fight is because they're think I can kill him. I couldn't even best Snape"

Lupin took his arm, "No one really expects it to be you to kill him. How could they? Even if you do end up as an Auror, you can still be part of the Order and help us fight."

"Dumbledore never told you, did he?"

"Told me what Harry? All I know is that you were helping him do something last year, I figured it had to do with your connection."

"He never told you that the reason Voldemort keeps coming after me, why he wants to kill me so badly was because of the prophecy?"

He narrowed his eyes, "The one we were guarding was about you?"

Harry sighed and shook his head, "Not, not quite no. Unfortunately, with the way prophecies work, it just means that we might be following a set pattern that marks the end of _A_ Dark Lord. When I first heard it, I researched prophecies in general. Most end up being self-fulfilling, so in that sense it actually helps that Voldemort heard it. It states that one must die at the hand of the other, though mentions no one by name, so in hopes of fulfilling this prophecy, he won't let anyone but him kill me, but anyone still can."

"That's why Dumbledore told James that he was targeting them. But why is he so obsessed?"

"Delusions of grandeur? Hopes of not being killed? Like I said, one must die at the hand of the other. The prophecy goes on to say that neither can live while the other survives. I think I understand what it means, why there`s a good chance it`s me. Ever since Voldemort has heard the prophecy, he`s become more and more aggressive towards those whom he thinks are a real danger to him, he won`t ever feel comfortable in his reign until he abolishes July, I, however, won`t get an option to live. Dumbledore tried to protect me from this, but the Ministry is bound and determined to control me.

"Come on" Lupin said after a few moments, "we need to make a stop at Grimmauld Place.

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AN: Good lord I hated this chapter


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